Pause to Move Forward

Image by: Keli Francis, Edited by Me

"Pause" - noun: a temporary stop in action.

I've always dreamt of owning my own business. I never knew what it would be. I just knew one day I would. In 2010, I held my first expensive Nikon. By March 2011, I knew in my heart that I was going to pursue wedding photography. People closest to me thought I was insane. Mind you, I'd never shot a wedding before or even knew how to shoot in manual.  By the end of that year I had 2nd shot & assisted about 30 weddings and in 2012 launched my business and website. That year, I booked 15 weddings by March, 25 by May, left my corporate America job in August, flew to San Francisco the next day and to New York shortly thereafter.  Every year after that, I was averaging 30-40 weddings per year, flying left and right across coasts.  I the best in the area and highest paid in my city.  I was on top of the world and thought I was unstoppable.  Or so I thought....

As many of you may or may not know... the floor on which I stood on...shattered and left me on my knees. My divorce affected me more than I expected. It was death to me and it ended the life I once knew. It was life altering and humbling at the same time. I hurt and upset many and I will always carry that guilt. It crushed my personal life and business all at the same time. I was my business and my business was me. Never did I think that after my divorce it would be painful to document weddings... it was gut wrenching. I suffered in private and was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety which debilitated me for almost 2 years. I've never been the same after that. I had an amazing support system and will forever be grateful and will take a bullet for them.  They answered my 3am calls, fed me, kept me company, wiped my tears, fought for me, protected me and dragged me out to get some fresh air and sun everyday when I couldn't do it myself.  You know who you are... thank you from the bottom of my heart. I would not be here if it wasn't for all of you. That painful long chapter of my life still haunts me in more ways than one... but I love who I'm now.  It changed me for the better.  Those close to me have heard me say... Naomi pre-divorce... so different from Naomi post-divorce.  I'm proud and prefer post-divorce Naomi.

When you work hard on creating something out of nothing, it's tough when it's the single thing that hurts you the most. In all aspects of my life...wedding photography managed to love me and devastatingly crush me at the same time. Documenting weddings was my life... I lived and breathed it and was damn good at it. In the past, all signs have pointed to letting it go. But letting go is not something I easily do. This past year, it has become crystal clear and it was a slap on my face kind of wake up call...it was time to let go.

For the time being...I have decided to take a "Pause". I'm letting go, taking a break and will regroup. I'm still picking up the pieces from my past but for once I'm going to practice self-love, self-care and putting myself first. I'm taking this time to find myself and hopefully, wedding photography finds it way back to me. If not...something better I know is out there for me.  And it's the broken twisted crooked roads I walk on that always leads me to a better path. As the famous quote goes from Kahlil Gilbran, "If you love somebody (in my case, something), let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were."

So, I'm taking a pause and letting go.  

What does this mean...I will not be accepting wedding inquiries or documenting weddings until further notice. Other types of photography such as portraits, families, headshots, corporate, events, etc.... maybe.  Reach out and we can discuss. To my loyal clients who have stuck with me through thick and thin... I will never refuse you... so still reach out and I will take your images.

This momentary "Pause" holds a lot of meaning for me...

Pause to....

breath

reflect

grieve

forgive

accept

start over

try new things

venture into uncharted territories

give back

try a new career

find myself

get to know the new me and new life

meet new people & make new friends

love, find love and be loved

I'm doing this so I can finally move forward, see that light at the end of the tunnel and close that painful chapter of my life. It took me almost 3 years to accept and finally say it with belief and conviction... I'm ready to let go and start over. 

Thank you to all who have watched me grow the past 6 years, supported my business and just loved me through hell and back. This has been a once in a lifetime...ridiculously fun ride! I'm so grateful and humbled.

Remember I'm only taking a "Pause" so I'll be back in the same form or another. 

Eternally grateful for you all in joining me in my journey.  I'm excited to see where taking a "pause" takes me. Excited that I'm finally moving "forward" in life.

Again, I'm grateful eternally and from the bottom of my heart.  

With Love, Naomi

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For the near future.....I will be actively thinking about how I can support those who otherwise are not strong enough to defend or speak for themselves. Mental health is no joke. You never know you're in it until it's really bad or too late. I will be actively pursuing to remove the stigma, ignorance, and bullying that surrounds this. Enough is enough. If you are reading this...please send me your thoughts. I have ideas but would love to hear yours. If you are or have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety or any mental health illnesses... please reach out...I want to be your voice, I want to document your story. For family and friends who have had to be strong for your loved ones who suffer from this illness... reach out too... this is for you as well. It is not easy to be strong for someone that does not know they are suffering. Stay tuned. 

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Note: Pending clients for images and products will be delivered during this break. Email me and my intern Jakeila for questions at hello@naomichokr.com. For the time being and until further notice I will not be accepting new wedding clients. Thank you for your love and understanding.